And What if Suffering Leads to Love?

“The mind and spirit of man advance when he is tried by suffering. The more the ground is ploughed the better the seed will grow, the better the harvest will be. Just as the plough furrows the earth deeply, purifying it of weeds and thistles, so suffering and tribulation free man from the petty affairs of this worldly life until he arrives at a state of complete detachment.” — ‘Abdul-Bahá

It seems we live in a society that is deeply convinced that if we can just live a worry-free, stress-free life we are doing it right. Increasingly I have begun to question this idea and wonder if there is a much deeper significance to suffering and discomfort that we will lose if we try and stay away from suffering. I am not advocating that we worry, worry stems from fear that can lead to a desire to control. I am not saying that we should stress either, stress is a symptom of an attempt to control something that may not be under our ability to control. And finally, I am definitely not saying we should seek suffering or worse, inflict it on others. What I am saying, is that in trying to avoid the suffering that naturally comes with life, we may also be avoiding an opportunity to love deeply.

So then how should we deal with suffering?

When thinking about suffering, the question arises what is the cause? Often the cause is an interaction with someone or something. When this interaction is painful or sad and we become uncomfortable, we try and pull away from the pain or the fear. We pull away not only because it is uncomfortable, but most likely we don’t know what to do with pain or fear when they show up, as a people we have never really been taught what to do with emotions we don’t like except repress them. Emotions are energy and according to the laws of energy, you cannot destroy energy, you cannot make more of it, you can only transform it. So when we repress sadness and fear, it can be transformed into suffering.

Because we have not released the pain and fear, it becomes a constant feeling of pain and a fear of being undeserving of anything good. Suffering by itself is useless as a tool for growth, it requires movement in order for it serve its purpose. When seen as a tool for spiritual growth, suffering has great capacity.

What I have learned about suffering is that it requires movement in order for it to release its spiritual powers. This movement can come in the form of releasing pain and fears. It can come in the relinquishment of…